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Topic: Offensive jokes
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RaverBoy
Sarge
Member # 119
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posted 08-19-2004 06:15 PM
    
How do tell real men from fantasy men?
You hand them a dollar and time their reaction.What did Christopher Reeve order in the chinese restaurant?
A superman costume. How do you know your wife has died?
Your secretary dies as well in an unrelated accident! Why do women have nipples?
Because it would be "unfair" if only men had them. You know, since we got a cock and all that. How do you find the real thief in a lineup?
You ask for directions. -------------------- No more annoying sig! =D
Posts: 1641 | From: | Registered: Jun 1999 | IP: Logged
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crash
Sarge
Member # 3015
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posted 08-19-2004 07:11 PM
How does every ethnic joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.How did the puero Rican woman know her daughter was having her period?
She could taste the blood on her son's penis. What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
You know that she'll swallow. -------------------- 
Posts: 86 | From: Victoria | Registered: Oct 2003 | IP: Logged
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AcidWarp
Sarge
Member # 997
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posted 08-19-2004 09:08 PM
My repetoir consists almost entirely of ethnic jokes. . . which while funny, can be offensive (okay, ARE offensive). I'll refrain from posting them. But keep the rest coming.-------------------- “I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.” “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” --Dr. Stephen Hawking.
Posts: 4363 | From: Waterloo, Ontario | Registered: Nov 1999 | IP: Logged
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Flux
Sarge
Member # 3052
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posted 08-20-2004 12:47 AM
I know a couple black jokes (who doesn't) but I don't know if it'll piss anyone off.Actually, I don't care. I'm not racist and I mean no offense. I'd just as soon laugh at any decent white jokes that anyone tells me. What's black, yellow and makes you laugh?
A busload of black people going off a cliff. What's a shame?
A busload of black people with one empty seat going off a cliff. What's the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit?
The bucket. What's red and orange and looks good on black people?
Fire. (I actually first heard this used for hippies) What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza?
The pizza can feed a family of 4. Why'd the black chick not wear panties at the picnic?
To keep the flies off the watermelon. What's the difference between pizza and Jews?
Pizza doesn't scream when its put in the oven. How do Chinese parents come up with names for their kids?
They throw a spoon down a wooden staircase. ching bong twang. What do you get when you cross a black guy and a puerto rican?
A man who is too lazy to steal. Why is interrogating a Mexican like a cue ball?
The harder you hit it the more English you get. Will post when I think of more... -------------------- 
Posts: 794 | From: | Registered: Jan 2004 | IP: Logged
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Flux
Sarge
Member # 3052
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posted 08-20-2004 12:56 AM
A guy checks into a hotel with his wife. A bellhop comes up and says "Can I take your bag?"
The guy says "No, she'll walk."One morning a woman is looking at her breasts and says to her husband "I wish my boobs were bigger."
The husband replies "Try rubbing toilet paper on them for a couple weeks."
The wife asks "What makes you think that'll work?"
The husband says "Well you've been doing that to your ass for years and that hasn't stopped growing." What's the first thing a woman does after she gets out of a Battered Women's Shelter?
The dishes if she knows what's good for 'er. The back of a motorcyclist's T-shirt: IF YOU CAN READ THIS THEN THE BITCH FELL OFF [ 08-20-2004: Message edited by: Flux ] --------------------
Posts: 794 | From: | Registered: Jan 2004 | IP: Logged
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Broch
Sarge
Member # 2867
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posted 08-20-2004 01:07 AM
There was a wealthy Jew who owned a nail company. His only son had just graduated from college and the father wanted to get him involved in the company. He initially farmed the young man out to each of the departments; first research & development, then manufacturing, then sales, and in each the son was a dismal failure. Determined to find a place for his offspring, the father decided that his son needed his own project. So the father placed his son in charge of the new advertising campaign. He told him that he would have no supervision and that any and all resources which he needed would be placed at his disposal. The son was elated and immediately set off to make his father proud. Four weeks later the son proudly proclaimed, "I have finished!" and he and his father went out to examine the first product of the new campaign: a billboard. As they drove to the sight, the son explained how he had been blocked until a sudden insight had leaped into his head. They turned the corner and to the father's horror the billboard portrayed Christ on a cross with the caption: "Even Then They Used Goldberg Nails." The father explained to the son that they couldn't portray Christ on a cross as it might offend their Christian clients. Dejected, the son said that he would fix the problem and report back to his father. One week later the son again exclaimed that he was "finished," and took his father off to see the billboard. Sure enough, Christ was no longer on the cross; he was lying at the base of the cross and the caption read: "This Wouldn't Happen With Goldberg Nails"
Posts: 297 | From: Philly | Registered: Sep 2002 | IP: Logged
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AcidWarp
Sarge
Member # 997
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posted 08-20-2004 01:30 AM
Lol, some of those are funny. . .Okay, I cleaned this one up a bit How do you circumcise a hick?
Hit his sister in the back of the head. -------------------- “I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.” “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” --Dr. Stephen Hawking.
Posts: 4363 | From: Waterloo, Ontario | Registered: Nov 1999 | IP: Logged
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posted 08-20-2004 12:58 AM
