a little over a month ago she was fine - doing well for an 88 year old woman still living on her own. about four weeks ago my grandmother fell and broke her hip. she went to the hospital and had the surgery to replace the hip and the surgery went well. the doctors performed an MRI to see if she had a mild stroke that would have caused the fall. it was worse - much worse. they discovered tumors in her brain and the cancer was pretty bad. they also found that she had bone cancer and there was a spot on either her liver or kidney - the scan was blurred.
the doctors waited until she recovered a bit before they told my grandmother. she stayed in the hospital for a while then she went off to rehab. she was taking a few steps at a time but it wasn't going very well. i went to visit her at the rehab facility on mother's day and she seemed in good spirits considering. she was surprised to se us (my fiancee and I) because she didn't like visitors while she was in that kind of setting. we visited for quite a while and then it was time to go. my grandmother said that she would see us when she got home. this was heartbreaking because i knew already that she wouldn't be going home - she would be going to a nursing home after she got out because she would require constant care. I told her i loved her and she told me that she loved me too, "very much." since the rehab wasnt going well the facility was going to send her to the nursing home towards the end of the week.
my mother and her siblings had been visiting her throughout the week and we were going to see her on thursday. we drove out thursday evening and my mom met us in the parking lot. my grandmother wasnt doing well at all. she was semi-comatose but we went in to see her anyways. she was on morphine because the pain was affecting her breathing and she was on oxygen too. she was able to hear what we said but not able to reply. i held her hand for a long while and talked to her the best i could. we went back on friday - she was the same way. her temp was 103 in the morning and she had pneumonia. it had fallen to 99 by the time we saw here and we stayed for a few hours.
saturday was my fiancee's bridal shower. i dropped her off there at about quarter to two. i was planning to go home, shower, change and come back because she wanted me to be there to open gifts with her. i drove home and my mom was getting ready to go to the shower. her cell phone rang and it was my aunt - she asked to speak with my mom. my mom started to cry and refused to talk on the phone. she already knew what was going to be said. my aunt told me that my grandmother had passed away and i just got this empty feeling inside. this was the only grandparent i had ever known.
the home phone rang and it was my fiancee wondering if my mom was going to the shower. i told her what had happened and that i would be there as soon as possible. my dad was there for my mom but i still felt a little weird leaving her. i got ready and headed out the the shower. the aunts from my dad's side of the family were there and they knew what had happened. (i guess they figured it out when my fiancee burst out in tears on the phone). but there was a lot of family and friends there to support us. it was very weird though when we returned to my house that night that the gift from my grandmother was sitting on the dinig room table with the shower card - the last thing that my grandmother had written or signed - made out the day before she left the rehab.
my grandmother lived a good life - a long live full of love and caring. though what is ironic to me is that a woman 88 years old - smoking since she was 13 never once had a problem with her lungs. i just wonder how long she would have made it if she hadn't fallen. the wake is tonight and tomorrow is the funeral where i will be one of the pallbearers. sometimes i had felt bad that i only got to know one of my grandparents - my fathers parents died when he was young and my mothers father died a few years before i was born - but i cant imagine how tough it is to have to go through this two, three, or four times. i think for me it also make it tough because it is supposed to be a happy time for me - we close on a house on thursday and we're getting married in just 3 months.

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I hope you got full closure with Grandma and that everyone parted way with everything needing to be said having been said. My prayers, sympathies and condolences go to you and yours.

It's never easy. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

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“I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.”

“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.”

Another issue, the spot on the liver and kidney. My mom had some kind of scan back in January and the idiot secretary forget to tell the doctor that she called in for her results, and he just realized this and she got the information last week that she has a spot on both her liver and kidney.

3 months is a long time so I would not worry about it. Congradulations again on the wedding.

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That for some reason struck a nerve with me.

It seems that it is always a fall. My grandmother broke her hip and quickly fell apart and died.

Take care Bob, we all go thru it with others then someday with ourselves.

Remember the good times you shared together

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quote:

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it was very weird though when we returned to my house that night that the gift from my grandmother was sitting on the dinig room table with the shower card - the last thing that my grandmother had written or signed - made out the day before she left the rehab.

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Be strong.

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