You see, it was a sunny day on Sunday and the birds were chriping the beer was flowing and Snag was flying. Down the lake at about 50mph flying over the wakes created by other boats on the lakes on the sea-doo....when all of a sudden I see a house boat cruising along and think "Yeah, big flat fucker moving along pretty good means AIRTIME!!" So....I square myself up and gun it! Hair flowing back looking like a fucking greaser, I am just screaming....the "pre-wake ripples" as I call them start getting the machine bouncing in anticipation of the big moment and help the timing of the whole thing. So I get into position, feet near the back of the machine while standing and holding onto the handle bars...I lean forward and just at the right moment spring down with my feet and up on the handles.

HOLY ****!!!! I was not prepaered for this!! OH ****!!! I am now about 6 feet in the air, machine cockeyed and flying through the air the only thought in my mind "Oh ****, what have you decided to do now you dumb ****!" and i am just sailing for what seemed like forever. Despite that if I wipe out, I will wipe out on water, I am still going 50mph!! That will hurt...epsecially if this damn 450 pounds of fibreglass and steel goes down with me. Well, I land it but because I never took off very straight I did not land smoothly and I jammed my thumb on the handle bars and damn near kissed the hood.

I wake up Monday at 11:00 unable to even close my hand. If I try my entire hand hurts severley and a sharp pain shoots all the way up and can be felt in my elbow joint. I work my hand and stretch it out and take pain killers to numb the pain. By 12:30 I am suited up and ready to go...everyone looking at me and now calling me Neptune cause even in agony I refuse to stay ashore. I am out there determined to take it easy and just "sight-see"...well, sitting on the calm lake and having a smoke (I packed one smoke and 1 match in a zip-lock bag lol) I see it...it is that damn house boat again!! So I try it again, all the same step and everything and ALMOST the same outcome, except one noticable difference...I got wet and even more pain! Damn I am an idiot See, on landing it hurt so damn much I pushed to the left and of couse the machine tuned, so I did a 180 on landing, but landing and doing the 180 into another wave is not a good plan! The machine slowed down enough to toss me off since my hand was too sore to hang on. But now I can barely walk because though it slowed down enough to toss me, it did not slow down enough to NOT HIT ME as I am flailing in the water. At least my whole body was submerged except my legs...it smoked me in the knee....nice bruise hehe

There, my story of the pain and how I got an excuse not to go to work...I can barely walk and I only have one functional hand. Despite this story really happened, I gotta go to the doctor about the hand cause I could sense doubt in the bosses voice...especially when he goes "lemme know what the doctor says *click*"

By the way, though the beer was flowing, it was only flowing for me when I was around to have it flow...drinking and driving/boating is stupid...

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“I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.”

“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.”