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Author
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Topic: I'm Kinda Scared...
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PrincessGummy
Sarge
Member # 1951
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posted 12-30-2000 09:33 AM
    
Ok, too keep a long story short, we all know about how i had this boyfriend for two years.
Anyway, I don't know who else to go to with this, and he's driving me nuts, and I just have to tell someone...
Well, anyway, when we dated, he was extremely forceful and usually a jerk, but for some reason, I totally loved him...
I was really close with him, and we shared a LOT.
Well, he broke up with me a while back, and has had a new gf since. She's older, and goes to college, so, she doesn't see him in school...where i do.
For some reason online one night, I had to tell someone some things that i had never told anyone before, and i chose to tell him because i have always felt connected with him(we're still friends...we've been since 3rd grade) so it's not like it was just spontaneous.
Anyway, when we were going out before, i always felt like all he cared about was the physical me and not "me." yaknow?
Last thursday at school (this was our last day of school before christmas break), we had a Sports Awards assembly, and we (the cheerleaders) had to wear our uniforms because we were doing some cheers for it.
When i went over to talk to my friends afterward, i sat behind him. He turned around and kept looking me up and down.
My friend Dan and I told our German teacher that we would help her out with the musical stuff. She needed copies made, because we are doing a really big musical(INTO THE WOODS! I"M LIttle red riding hood!..anyway) this year and our books aren't in yet. So, it took us all day long to do that.
My X is an office helper 4th block.
So, Dan wasn't there, because he was up talking to Frau D, and the X came over and started giving me a backrub...i kinda shrugged him off, because his girlfriend hates me, and I didn't want anyone to see that. I'm afraid of her, because she threatened me all the time last year for no reason...
Well, last night, I was on the net and he got on AIM. He started talking to me cuz no one was home. He wanted to see some of my pictures i had taken with my digital camera, so stupid me, i was giving them to him.
Well, after a while, he asked me to take some naked ones for him, and i said no.
He has a gf, she already hates me, plus, im not a ho like that.
He kept asking and asking and asking, and then he said, if i didn't give him any naked pictures, that he would tell everyone the secrets that i told him. I knew he wouldn't, but still...that's not even funny to joke about. i told him hardcore stuff that i never told anyone IRL before, because...it's seriously bad...
In a previous convo, he said we should go do something sometime...
i think he has an obsession or something, and it's really scaring me. He said he was going to come down last night, and i told him no.
Last year, i never told anyone this, but, i was on the internet talking to him, and then i said i had to go take a shower. He said he was coming down, and i was like, no way, i'll be in the shower! He said he was going to come anyway, and i said i wasn't going to let him in. And he said, he'd find the key.
Well, later i had just gotten out of the shower and looked outside, and his car was out there. I was in a towel and home alone, and was really scared. Well, i diidn't answer the door, so he took off...gladly...
I never told anyone, because everyone thinks i want him, because of a rumor he started last year, when it is obviously the other way around.
I can't ride in the car with him, because everytime we go somewhere, he tries to feel me up or something.
It's soo scary, and i can't tell anyone, because of the rumor, and i'd never tell my parents...
I'm just not sure what to tell him! I yelled at him last night, but he said he was joking, but i knew he wasn't.
For some reason, although he's really disgusting and scares me, i still feel close to him and like i could tell him anything...
I think it's because i've been his friend for so long and i dated him longer...before we dated two years straight, i dated him for 9 months and then dumped him, and then we got back together, so i guess it's more like, 3 years.
My friend Erin always tells me that we're going to end up married...i'd love to say how could i marry someone like him, but i can't...no one would understand.
There is sooo much more to this, but i'm probably boring you already and i'm tired of typing...so, sorry...i just had to tell...
Posts: 507 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Mar 2000 | IP: Logged
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PrincessGummy
Sarge
Member # 1951
Member Rated:
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posted 12-30-2000 07:04 PM
why is my life so messed up  in 7th grade, i "went out" with this boy named dean. we broke up. the next year, he asked me out and i said no, so he kept tripping me in the hallways and spreading rumors about me.
last year, he asked me out...again, i said no because he's a creep, and he wrote me a death threat in a friends guestbook online. the school vp took some action and said we could ahve called the cops on him, but i didn't want to...i don't want to get into it more with him.
i'm so sick of this
why can't i find a nice guy.
the only nice guy IRl i know, everyone thinks is gay, but i know he's not, because he's been my best guy friend for sooo long and he used to like me...
i don't want to tell anyone...my best friend isn't as experienced with anything as i am, and wouldn't understand anything i told her. his girlfriend already hates me...
this is driving me nuts...
he wanted me to go to a new years party with him too. he asked me last night. and i said i already had one, and then i got offline.
:-/
Posts: 507 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Mar 2000 | IP: Logged
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PrincessGummy
Sarge
Member # 1951
Member Rated:
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posted 01-03-2001 04:50 PM
thanks guys...i just kinda wanted to tellsomeone.
We could have been so much,
but you blew it. You turned off my abilty to love, Made me cry so many times. I felt empty for the first time for so long. You turned our laughter into tears. Made me want to die, countless times. I felt unloved and alone continually, we could have been so much, but you blew it.
You could have been mine eternally.
Made me yours for life, you turned your kindness into insensitivity. You look at me, now so differently. Make me wonder what you think. i feel curious when you look at me that way. you already lost me, it's too late. we could have been something. i knew it. but you? you blew it. - Kalie 
Posts: 507 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Mar 2000 | IP: Logged
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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
posted 12-30-2000 05:50 PM
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