well, i've been buds with this guy since third grade and I think i'm in love with him...
Homecoming is coming up, and this other guy we'll call him B, well, he really likes me and asked me to Homecoming and I said yes because it was the right thing to do, although i have no feelings for this guy.

The guy i like, we'll call him, D...well, sometimes i just wish i could tell him everything...

I just want to ly in his arms and cry out everything i have ever wanted to say, but i'm so afraid to get into a relationship because i have been hurt before too many times.

I have no clue why i am telling you this but i have to tell someone.

I feel so lonely, yet i'm the one who has done it to myself.
I could have someone, but i am so afraid to let anyone get close to me anymore...

I want to just tell someone everything i have ever cried about but i can't...i really want to open up to him, yet i'm so scared..i know i'm falling in love with him...

sometimes, i wish B didn't ask me to Homecoming because if i went with D, i think something would happen...

I feel so dumb, but i'm so lonely and so confused and i wish i could make myself stop making my life so miserable but i can't...i'm the one doing it, and i hate myself for it...i hurt myself too much but it's getting to the point where i can't control it anymore...

lets see here, i'mi not sure if you were asking for advice or anything.
but we need to know some things.
do you talk to d?
does d talk to you.
do you talk to b?
does b talk to you?
are you leading b on?
and does b have money heheh.

Open up, tell him everything, express all your opinions on all subjects that you have concern about - trust me, it works.

I had a major crush on this girl called Jennifer but she chose this church guy over me because she is churchy as well.

I called her up and said "So is there ever going to be a chance between you and me" (straight out question) she said, i don't know becuase he (other boyfriend) is pretty keen, and I like him becuase he goes to church"

So then, i said well, lets settle for a platonic until you feel right about telling me what you think and she said ok.

ever since then we've been reeeeeeelly good friends, so i was happy.

But ive met this wonderful woman in the building that i work in, gaaaad daaaaammmm!@#$%

Hope my ramblings make you think more about expressing your opinions to this "d" fellow

So let's move over from this 15 year old girl personality. Now look at me this way. I've had a certain amount (let's just call it bigger than small) of emotional distress in the past two years, and, I have been in love, with a really good friend. Also, I'm taking higher pyschology this year, having had a head start in pyschoanalysing myself.

First things. There will be many (and I mean many) people who will tell you that you are too young to fall in love. Forget them. They're just jealous.

Second, it seems you have some serious issues that you probably may have to work through... whether it be now, or later. These issues of course, are

quote:

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I could have someone, but i am so afraid to let anyone get close to me anymore...

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quote:

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I feel so dumb, but i'm so lonely and so confused and i wish i could make myself stop making my life so miserable but i can't...i'm the one doing it, and i hate myself for it...i hurt myself too much but it's getting to the point where i can't control it anymore...

I just want to die sometimes.
i hate me.

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Issue #1 and issue #2, both biggies. Now I know you've been to S&R before, so you'll know at least a little about what issue #2 may be about, depression. Issue #1 is just a part of it. "i hurt myself too much but it's getting to the point where i can't control it anymore..."
Self-destructiveness. Is this emotional or physical inflictions? Both are serious, however physical inflictions point to a more serious form of depression than emotional inflictions. I'm a vet at emotional, fortunately I'm not a vet of physical inflictions.

You have to take control of yourself. Don't let your emotions over-run you. The way you are feeling is not your fault. It's a chemical trigger in your brain that is causing this. Don't let it get the better of you. I would like to talk more about this and try to help you with it if you want me to.

Now on to the relationships part. Take a risk. I know this sounds horribly cliche, but you only live once. And there's something one of my old best friends said to me about a certain person (that you all know and love), "If it all goes wrong, you can look back at this in 10 years and laugh at it. But if you never do anything, in 70 years you'll look back and regret it"

There are a few things we'd like to know, like the Grumpster said. Do you talk to D? Do you talk to B? Do they talk to you?
Of course you can't dump B for homecoming because you already said yes. However you can start building a closer relationship to D. Just because you're going to homecoming with B doesn't mean that you have to be his girlfriend.

Thank you to that person

I talk to both guys....but i am closer to D and B is going to ask me out...i just don't want to mention them cause i know one knows where this is cause i was at D's house on sunday, and we were on here lurking...

[x] E. Do all of the above

just kidding.

jk jk

I ruv roo 2

Ok, update: last night, i went out on my double date w/ Ben...well, he held my hand during the movie and in the woods and stuff (we were out walking in the woods at like, 11 PM..don't ask) and we cuddled and all but i didn't want to kiss him..i knew if i did, it would all be different...

Now Ben is the one who likes me: Ben is a big guy...football player, chews, smokes, drinks, those things really turn me off (the bad habits i mean)if he didn't swear all the time and have an addiction to Nicotine, he would be a great guy...he is such a teddy bear underneath i think...if he likes me as much as i have been hearing, i think maybe i could help him out..he hasn't been drinking during football season cause it messes him up to much, but he still chews all the time, although he didn't last night because we were on a date and all...

But, he is my homecoming date and a great friend and i don't know if i should say yes or no...