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Topic: Life sucks!
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Rivendell
Sarge
Member # 148
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posted 08-28-2000 07:29 AM
    
I met an old flame of mine for the first time in 10 years this easter. Both felt pretty good about seeing eachother again, and we've kept in touch since then. We met eachother again in june, and this time it was pretty clear that our feelings towards eachother were as strong as ever...
One problem though...she is living with a guy and the've even bought a house together...not good. Anyways...since I quickly learned that their relationship wasn't very good anymore, I still kept in touch and have been talking to her via phone and e-mail (she's living several hours from me). We both felt that we needed to see eachother again, to find out where this was going and if there was any chance of getting there (remember: She's with a guy, they have a house together, she has a job there, and I live 7 hours away by car...not easy).
So she flew to meet me this weekend. We spent a wonderful weekend together, talking, walking, eating, cuddling, etc. We didn't address the future too specifically - I think we both want to take this one step at a time. Anyways, I drove her to the airport again yesterday, and kissed her goodbye after a weekend I really enjoyed. So far so good....
Then early this morning she called me, and said that whatever we had together, had to stop. It was over and she didn't even want to have contact with me anymore. She sounded pretty strange on the phone, but didn't want me to phone her, mail her, message her or anything. I was completely unbalanced by this and had to get myself together before going to work. I had a suspicion that her guy found out somehow, since she didn't sound like her true self, and I had no indication of this yesterday whatsoever. I know it must be difficult for her being in a relationship and all, but afterall...why take the risk in spending the weekend with me if she's going to dump me the next day?
As soon as I got to work, I sent her a long e-mail expressing my concerns and questions (I have a lot of them). I then sent a message to her cellular, telling her to check her mail....I wanted to leave it at that, and then see if I got a reply. Almost immediately I got a message telling me she couldn't check her mail, since she wasn't at work, and wanted me to message her instead. I sent her another message telling that I had to many questions, so I had to to wait for her to see the mail. I then got another message with a strange question, so I sent another message telling her that perhaps I was paranoid but I didn't want to send more messages until I was sure it was her. Moments later my phone rang and the guy was on the other line, telling me to back off. It turned out he was sending all the messages I received today. He was polite and all, and of course I see his side of it as well, so I didn't start to exchange words with him at all...I told him how I felt and that they obviously need to talk things through...Then I told him I was at work, and hung up.
I've tried to call her at work today, but she has called in sick. I know he has beaten her before, but I hope to God this isn't the case this time. I suspect he's keeping her on a leash, though....Anyway there is no way for me to talk to her alone, before she's back at work. I can see his side of the story and I feel a bit like the big black wolf here, but I really want her back....
So...what do I do now?
Ahh...life sucks sometimes... 
Posts: 1966 | From: Norway | Registered: Jun 1999 | IP: Logged
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Cyborg6
Sarge
Member # 1382
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posted 08-28-2000 08:21 AM
Don't be Gotta Woody2...It sounds like she hasn't made up her mind yet. Frickin' Women!
Posts: 2869 | From: | Registered: Dec 1999 | IP: Logged
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Wolfie
Sarge
Member # 1698
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posted 08-28-2000 05:17 PM
I agree with everyone else, if anything the least you owe her is to take that drive down to see what's happening. You may seem like the big bad wolf but if you're doing this it'll be to make sure that she's alright and that she meant what she said. Afterall, 10 years is a very long time to still like a person.
No matter what... if this guy has beaten her even ONCE before you should get her out of that relationship as soon as possible. If there is a once, there is no doubt that there will definetely be a second time, and after that, a third time, and so on.
Don't let your guilt get you. This guy seems obsessive that he would be monitoring her mobile phone messages.
However, when you get down there, check this guy out to see what he's like, but don't let apeareances fool you. Check for your own conscience to see if this guy is a nice guy, and if he's genuine.
Posts: 786 | From: Cold place that rains all the time | Registered: Jan 2000 | IP: Logged
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PrincessGummy
Sarge
Member # 1951
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posted 08-28-2000 09:21 PM
ok...Probably this guy that she is with did now approve of you and could have possibly beaten her and maybe she is afraid to get it contact with you or not allowed. in cases like this, there is nothing you can really do. you can hurt deep down in your heart, or you could risk having her hurt physically. don't say life sucks. i strongly believe that there is someone for everyone and when you find that person you will konw and they will know and no matter what, you will be together. if it is meant to be, all will work out, if not, crying is ok and you need to be open and try not to compare her to others...that is my problem right now... see, i dated this guy two years, we broke up a little over a year ago, and it's still so hard to find anyone else that measures up to him...but he wasn't great either, he used to not allow me to put my hair in a ponytail and he made me do a lot of stuff i didn't want to do....sometimes, you think you're in love, but...love is such an overcoming emotion that you don't see how much the relationship could be in jeopardy. so, why am i telling you all this? well, if you did really care about or even love her, you wouldn't want to see her get hurt if she is...quite possibly tell someone you know about it and do something...if she is being hurt, you need to call a hotline or talk to someone who could help to handle the situation. if she is being hurt physically and she feels strongly about you, there is surely a huge burden on her, because she is being hurt mentally and physically. you should really either put your feelings aside and forget about it, or get involved where you could risk hurting her more. hope i didn't confuse you...if you need me i[m on aim and icq... AIM: FallingGummy
ICQ: 69005525 ------------------
*have some gummy slime*
Posts: 507 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Mar 2000 | IP: Logged
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Lindi
Sarge
Member # 493
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posted 08-29-2000 08:19 AM
Man, I feel so frustrated just reading these posts.Have you got "shelter homes" for abused wimen in Norway? You could ask her to contact one, for professional advice (Legal and othervise). Propably not an easy thing to do for her, but for the best in the long run. Never been in a simmilar situation myself, but I saw a document on TV about these shelters, and how they work here in Finland. ------------------
Si hoc legere scis numium eruditionis habes. - If you can read this, you're overeducated.
Posts: 3036 | From: Turku, Finland | Registered: Jul 1999 | IP: Logged
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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
posted 08-28-2000 07:57 AM
