:[ Q3Arena.com Message Board ]: : help...friend being abused...

my profile | register | search | faq | forum home

»	:[ Q3Arena.com Message Board ]: » The Lounge » help...friend being abused...

UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!

Author

Topic: help...friend being abused...

PrincessGummy
Sarge
Member # 1951

Member Rated:

posted 02-03-2001 06:55 PM

guys, ok, last night, one of my really good guy buds wrecked his dads truck.

his dad went totally post on him.
he hit him hard last night, and then shot at his dog and tried to kill it.
and he hit him again today...i'm worried....should i tell my parents about this????

Posts: 507 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Mar 2000 | IP: Logged

PrincessGummy
Sarge
Member # 1951

Member Rated:

posted 02-03-2001 07:10 PM

oh, one more thing..his dad thinks he did it on purpose( he would never do something like that), and his parents were thinking about getting divorced,a dn his mom is sooo mad at his dad for doing this to him, so, they might get divorced now.
and i'm the only one he's told about this....and i don't know what to tell him.
he scared. he's been crying all day.
he wants to move in with his uncle...i have no clue what i should do.

Posts: 507 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Mar 2000 | IP: Logged

Parsout
Sarge
Member # 1873

Member Rated:

posted 02-03-2001 08:59 PM

Crikeys...

um, yes i think u should tell your p's.

Guns and domestic violence DO NOT mix...

man, thats some scary shit...

Parsout

Posts: 630 | From: Adelaide, SA, Australia | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Redlemons
Sarge
Member # 70

posted 02-04-2001 01:58 AM

I totally agree with Pars about the guns and domestic troubles. It sounds so easy to just turn to a gun to solve it all.

Personally, if I were your friend I'd find the gun and turn it into a police station. It's not illegal for his dad to have it, of course, but still, that's what I'd do. I'd try to convince the cops to take it.

This is way out of his hands- I'd tell the school councellor (sp?) or his uncle. They're removed from the situation so they could handle it better. Don't worry about the divorce- that's between his parents. As long as he realises that he didn't cause the divorce- it sounds like it was going to happen anwyay.

I'd definately tell an adult about it.

Good luck.

Posts: 1711 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jun 1999 | IP: Logged

AcidWarp
Sarge
Member # 997

Member Rated:

posted 02-04-2001 04:35 AM

I'd totally follow Red's and Parsie's advice PG. You can't not tell someone. It might be better to try and convince him to tell someone. It's better for him if he confronts the problem in some way. If he's to scared to talk to his Uncle/School Counsellor/Police then you may have to.

Posts: 4363 | From: Waterloo, Ontario | Registered: Nov 1999 | IP: Logged

Snag
Sarge
Member # 992

Member Rated:

posted 02-04-2001 02:58 PM

quote:
Guns and domestic violence

NONE of those words go together!! Anyhow Kalie, I would have to agree that it is up to him to seek assistance. However, he might be too scared and seeing you as a good friend he might have "entrusted" that duty to you...however that is up to interpretation and therefore should not be done without him knowing. He knows the whole situation better than you though. No matter how much he tells you and how in depth he tells you, he is the one living in it. Therefore it is best if he comes forward to someone for guidance and if necessary, intervention. The problem with your parents getting involved is that there be a level of resentment developed by a perception of sticking noses where they don't belong. Regardless of intent, when emotions run high people don't often think things through...and this can make matters worse. The safest way is to get judicial intervention. Get him to speak to a guidance counsellor at school; that is what they are there for. Then the necessary and APPROPRIATE measures will be taken with as minimal emotional interferance as possible. Tensions will be high until the whole thing is resolved, however, I think this father must take a step back and determine whether his actions reflect the love for his son which a father should have for him. To show remorse over a damn truck rather than elation for the fact his son was spared is reprehensible. I hope things work out there Gummy...cause there is evidently much more than just a written off truck causing the rift.

Posts: 2606 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 1999 | IP: Logged

Cyborg6
Sarge
Member # 1382

posted 02-04-2001 06:43 PM

If he is abused often and it is REAL abuse tell the world including the cops!

Posts: 2869 | From: | Registered: Dec 1999 | IP: Logged

Snag
Sarge
Member # 992

Member Rated:

posted 02-05-2001 03:59 AM

There is more than 1 type of abuse in this world Cy, and unfortunately they can't all be exposed the same way. Discretion is deffinately required.

Posts: 2606 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 1999 | IP: Logged

Parsout
Sarge
Member # 1873

Member Rated:

posted 02-05-2001 06:26 AM

i shoulda said "domestic disputes" sorry

Parsout

Posts: 630 | From: Adelaide, SA, Australia | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Wolfie
Sarge
Member # 1698

Member Rated:

posted 02-05-2001 03:52 PM

Gummy? How's the situation? Have you told anyone?

Posts: 786 | From: Cold place that rains all the time | Registered: Jan 2000 | IP: Logged

PrincessGummy
Sarge
Member # 1951

Member Rated:

posted 02-05-2001 09:04 PM

well, i talked to him last night, and he said his dad is strictly not talking to him...he wasn't at school today either...and i didn't see him tonight...

Posts: 507 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Mar 2000 | IP: Logged

Snag
Sarge
Member # 992

Member Rated:

posted 02-06-2001 02:04 AM

Something similar has happened with my cuz. He had his license for just a few months and rolled a company truck. Charged with undue car and attention. Hit the ditch in his truck. My old man pulls him out with the Z71. Numerous other little piddly ass things. Aunt and uncle buy him a car. He has it for about six months, runs a 4-way BAM!! Write off. This is his own car...bought though by his mom and dad. Insurance (high as hell...now to be even higher) paid for by mom and dad. He always aimed to please dad and as long as dad was happy everything was ok. Furthermore, they all (dad included) laugh at mom cause she flips out over stuff...only cause she is the only one who thinks things through and sorta seems like a prude because of it.

Thing is, there is anger over the fact that a vehicle was destroyed. BUT, what must happen is that the realization must be made that a car/truck/whatever is nothing more than steel, aluminum, fibreglass, glass, plastic, rubber..........it can be fixed or replaced. A life can't. And this is especially true when the life is that of one of your children. I do not have kids yet, but I KNOW that if anything happens to them...I would kill to protect them and if the brutal enough of a fate was bestowed upon them I would kill to avenge. I cannot understand how his father could do this to his own child.

Posts: 2606 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 1999 | IP: Logged

Redlemons
Sarge
Member # 70

posted 02-06-2001 10:38 PM

I'm with Snag all the way on that last comment.

I think his dad is so pissed off because he thought the son wrecked the truck on purpose. He's getting back at him not for the action, but for the idea behind it, I think.

Just a question for anyone living in the USA- how old do you have to be to get any driving license? Do you need an adult with you for a certain amount of time before you get can get a full license?

Here in Australia you can get your Learner license when you're 16, and until youre 18 you need a full licensed driver with you in the car. Once you're 18 you've got your P plates, and you need them for 3 years (I think? Pars?) and after that you can do whatever.

Posts: 1711 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jun 1999 | IP: Logged

Lindi
Sarge
Member # 493

Member Rated:

posted 02-07-2001 03:01 AM

Difficult situation indeed, I really hope it turns out good in the end, somehow.

Hopefully you can help your friend without getting burnt yourself, PG.

------------------
Spell checks? SPELL CHECKS? we don't need no stinking Spell Checks.

Posts: 3036 | From: Turku, Finland | Registered: Jul 1999 | IP: Logged

Snag
Sarge
Member # 992

Member Rated:

posted 02-07-2001 03:56 AM

Here in Alberta (Canada) you can get your lerners permit when you are 14. You can get your license when you are 16. If you are 16 you can get your learners and license in the same day (which I DO NOT agree with but anyhow...). Until you are 18, you are not allowed to drive after dark plus there are restrictions as to how many occupants you can have...can't remember it all as they came into affect after it woulda affected me

By the way, I GOT WHEELS AGAIN WOOHOO

Fully loaded 3.8L Olds Delta 88 hehe
I LOVE THE POWER SEATS

Posts: 2606 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 1999 | IP: Logged

AcidWarp
Sarge
Member # 997

Member Rated:

posted 02-07-2001 03:39 PM

In BC, we just recently changed formats for licensing. It used to be that you could get your learners permit at 16 then take the road test with in 30 days (I was one of the smart people and went to a driving school so it took me a little longer). Now, all new licensee's can get their Learners at 16 and they have to have an 'L' poster on the back of the car to signify that they aren't a fully licensed driver. Then they can take a road test 6 months later to get their Novice rating which carries some of the same restrictions that Snag mentioned they have in Alberta (I'm not sure what they are as I got my license under the old system). 18 Months after that first test, they take a written exam to get their full license.

I guess it's just like what snag described.

Just remembered, these rules apply to ALL new licensee's. Not just teenagers.

[This message has been edited by AcidWarp (edited 02-07-2001).]

Posts: 4363 | From: Waterloo, Ontario | Registered: Nov 1999 | IP: Logged

PrincessGummy
Sarge
Member # 1951

Member Rated:

posted 02-07-2001 08:20 PM

well, his dad still isn't talking to him....but, i don't *think* he's hurting him anymore.

here, you ahve to be 16 to get your permit, and then, 6 months after that, you can get your liscense, and then you still have to be in by 11 i think...i dunno, i really don't follow it. and then, at 18 i think, you can get your real adult liscense...i want a cute lil car first
i think i might lifeguard this summer if i don't go to germany so i can save up for some cute car...i don't care what, just so it's cute...preferably red.

Posts: 507 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Mar 2000 | IP: Logged

All times are ET (US)